Cow Milk Is Creepy

Now that my family has been drinking strictly soymilk for four years it seems strange to me that I ever drank cow milk. We quit drinking cow milk years ago because of all the hormones and antibiotics and who knows what else is in there. My sons, 4 year old Sammy and 2 year old Pete, have never had a glass of cow milk.

Let's face it, cow milk is actually cow mother's milk. Cows normally eat grass, which is inedible to humans. Cow mother's milk is designed for cow babies, not human babies. The only mother's milk I want in my children is human mother's milk, preferably their actual mother's mother's milk.

How in the world did we start drinking animal mother's milk? Maybe some cave lady ran dry and noticed the domesticated wolf feeding her cubs in the corner of the cave and laid her infant down with the cubs. Who knows? It's creepy, mon!

Now it's a multi-trillion dollar operation. It does a body good? Hmm, when that much money is involved you can bet that the product ain't good for your baby.

I recently saw an Ovaltine commercial on that obnoxious moving picture box in the livingroom and those kids were yelling, "More Ovaltine, Mom!" and I got a craving for a big glass of ice cold milk with a tablespoon or four of Hershey's chocolate syrple (any Roger Miller fans out there?). That's when I realized how long it's been since I've actually tasted milk and now it's a blogpost.

It's just like all the other stuff that's force-fed to us. Somehow "they" came up with a forty hour workweek. What? Somehow "they" decided that we should all be driving cars and covering our planet with highways and parking lots. What? Forty thousand people die every year in America in car accidents and I'm upset about a mere three thousand dying every year in a useless war? Where's my perspective? And this computer in front of me makes me nervous. Listen to it humming and whirring. What kind of weird emissions am I breathing in? All this is future blog material. Stay tuned for more fun and games.

Last thing - soymilk ain't milk. It's a filtrate. It's like juice. Milk is a special word that should be used only for what a mother is amazingly capable of providing for her beautiful baby.

Nipples Really Have Only One Purpose

Why are nipples erogenous? It just seems creepy to me. Nipples are designed to deliver milk to the infant. (And why do humans drink cow milk? It's for calves! I drink soy milk.)

The whole sex drive thing is a scam. We "feel" physically attracted to someone but really it's just our sex drive trying to make a new human.

Many men find large breasts attractive but is it actually because large breasts imply that they can hold more milk than smaller breasts and therefore be more capable of feeding an infant? Or is it because certain men want to be babied? According to zoologist Desmond Morris, author of 'The Naked Ape,' breasts are designed to look like derrieres, and a naked derriere is designed to encourage the sex drive.

Sex is weird and the older I get the more I see it for what it truly is - simply an overly hyped mechanism to make more humans.

(But don't get too attached to your babies - America's most prolific serial killer, President George Bush, is on a roll.)

There's No Such Thing As Pollution

I do not care anymore about pollution. The landfills are full of disposable diapers and plastic water bottles? Good! Cigaret butts and trash line the streets? Good! Carbon dioxide filling the atmosphere? Yay! All this trash is just Mother Earth in a different form. So what? Mother Earth knows what she's doing.

I hope to be living when the earth decides it has had enough of humans. That will certainly be exciting. Woo hoo!

South Dakota Contributes To Inhumanity

South Dakota murdered a murderer July 11, 2007. Sickening. Now he's escaped prison!

Meanwhile, George Bush, America's most prolific serial killer, continues his bloody spree. Well, let's see if he can get my boys to enlist. Ain't a'gonna happen, Mr. President. I served proudly, my father served proudly, and I am proud of our troops, but I won't allow my sons to die meaningless deaths. Bring the troops home!

My List Of Heroes Doesn't Include George Bush

My sons are my heroes. I strive to be as brave as they are.

Sammy singing his own song: http://youtube.com/watch?v=iFQ5HSxxFUA

Petey determined to learn words: http://youtube.com/watch?v=yH82MoBsMhQ

I am also very proud of Sean Penn: http://youtube.com/watch?v=f6_lx5ejhWY&mode=related&search=

I am ashamed of George Bush. Our military has become a police force for the rich. We are using our brave and honorable military troops to steal oil.

My sons may become soldiers, as I was, as their grandfathers were, but they will not fight for corporate interests. I will ensure that, even if it means leaving the USA.

Abortion Is The Greatest Tragedy Of Humanity

Today South Dakota votes... Come on, South Dakota! Do the right thing! Save the unborn!

I am completely against any killing of human beings.

I am against capital punishment. We have killed innocents.

I am against abortion. Life begins at conception. Abortion is murder. I have had two abortions. I intensely regret both, and I also forgive myself and their mothers.

I do not believe there is a god. I don't care what you believe.

Lies We Tell Our Children

Why do we teach our babies that animals can talk human talk? Why do we want our children to be convinced that there is a Santa Claus and a tooth fairy? Why do we let children believe in trains and giant red dogs that think and talk like humans? I am not comfortable lying to my children.

Perhaps society wants its children to think that farm animals are cute and cuddly and can sing and dance because society wants to conceal the grim reality of death on the farm. Most farm animals are raised to be slaughtered in high-speed killing factories which contaminate the meat with e. coli. Maybe they should have tours for kindergardeners at those slaughterhouses. I'm not a vegan but I haven't eaten beef in years.

And teaching children to believe in Santa sure is a convenient way for religious people to convince them that there is also a god. Get them while they're young, very young, and impressionable.

I'm not trying to take away the joys of childhood. Pretending is fun. I wonder how much is really lost of a child's trust in his parents when he realizes that he's been lied to all those years, and how much active life-learning time has been lost spent believing that Santa exists?

Do You Wash Your Spatula After You Flip The Burger? I Do!

Wake up, parents! Protect your children from horrible sickness and possible death! I'm talking about that frightening E. coli O157:H7. It's killing children across the nation. It only takes a couple of the bacteria, a quantity so small you cannot see it, to sicken you. We don't eat beef in our house - it's simply too scarey. We mainly eat turkey and fish. I always wash the spatula in between burger flips. I always wash the meat thermometer in between test pokes. I spray 10% bleach solution all around the kitchen and let it air dry every day. I have two baby boys - a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old. My youngest caught the rotavirus 3 months ago and we spent two nights in the hospital holding him while he was on continuous IV and suffering agonizing cramps and diarrhea every 15 minutes. I do not intend to have that happen again. Since that frightening ordeal, I have done a lot of research and thought many thoughts. Many children have died from rotavirus, e. coli, shigella, and other horrible invisibles. It's a horrible death. Please, please take your kitchen hygiene up to a higher level. I also think that the beef industry controls the media. They don't want us to know how many people are actually getting sick. Check it out: http://www.safetables.org/Victim_Support/victim_stories.html

George W. Bush Is A Serial Killer

As President Bush continues his serial killing, life goes on for the living, often in mundane yet comforting ways. I am the father of a beautiful three year old boy and a beautiful one year old boy and I've been actively encouraging my oldest to use the toilet. So instead of my usual quiet pee just above the water line in the toilet which I've practiced to perfection for 30 years, I have been peeing directly into the toilet lately so he can hear me from wherever he's playing, hoping to remind him that Daddy uses a toilet instead of a diaper (and that Daddy hasn't disappeared from his universe). This bothers me a bit because I can often feel microscopic droplets on my legs. It depends on how many Newcastle Brown Ales I've had. Newcastles often transport a person to hypersensitivity about all things mental and physical. I am seriously considering abandoning this peeing silliness. Why do we teach our boy toddlers to pee standing up? Who taught me to teach him to pee standing up? My dad and mom? Who taught them? Their parents? Does this go all the way back to Adam and Eve? And who taught them? God? And who taught God? Oh, excuse me - God always was. Right. Sure he was. How convenient for you believers. Well, teaching a toddler to pee standing up is ridiculous! Let's teach them to sit down on the toilet and pee. Aiming a peeing penis requires skill, concentration, and the ability to accurately predict trajectory, much like aiming a rocket at the moon. When he's older and more in control of small motor muscles he can make the switch. Yesterday I went over to my good friend Leo's house for a couple of Newcastles and I used his bathroom (in 2 beers = out 6) and what did I do? Peed directly, and loudly, into his toilet! After I wiped the rim of his toilet with toilet paper, which I always do anyway, I went back to his comfy livingroom and was compelled to explain why I was so loud. Meanwhile, valiant soldiers are dying in Iraq as I type these inconsequential words.

Bring Our Troops Home!

The presidency is the perfect front for a serial killer. I know I'm being dramatic, but what if...? I suppose it's impossible, but it sure is weird how strange he is. One thing is for sure - our valiant soldiers are dying unnecessarily. The people that voted for him should be feeling some shame, too. Why are we putting up with this??? Is America blind???

Iraq didn't have anything to do with 9/11. Why is Osama still free? What's really going on? I shouldn't have to think these thoughts.

I have a two year old toddler and a six week old infant. I served in the military. The military is there to protect our country, not chase oil. I cannot lose my children for oil. Go Cindy!