Sunday, August 24, 2008

God Is The Ultimate Serial Killer

Is there a god? Well if there is he/she/it has has murdered more humans than all the serial killers in history have murdered, combined! Add up all the humans killed by other humans throughout history, include the war dead, and god has killed way way more than that number. Why? Well, duh! Because god LOVES US! God is the greatest serial killer of all time, even greater than George Bush.

Abortion kills unborn babies. That's imaginary god's ace up the sleeve. No serial killer can compete with abortion statistics. God wins hands down! Yay god!

I have had two abortions. I regret both of them of course, but I have finally forgiven myself. If I hadn't talked two wonderful people into aborting there might be an extra 12 year old and an extra 28 year old on the planet. I can't think about that too much. I miss them terribly.

I love my living children. Two toddler boys and an infant daughter. I am a very lucky human. I teach them to be considerate and polite to their fellow humans, but only to a certain extent. When they eventually ask me about god (and Santa Claus and the tooth fairy) I will tell them the truth. I will say, "Some people believe in those things but Daddy doesn't." Am I going to hell? Well, if there is a hell I sure hope I'm going there! I certainly don't want to have anything to do with a god who permits the murdering of innocent unborn children, or the gassing of four million children who died in the Holocaust, and allows all the innocent babies to die of AIDS every day, and looks the other way while children are raped and murdered. A god who can create an infinite universe could definitely step in and stop a Nazi from tearing an infant from her mother's arms and throwing it into a raging fire, don't you think?

What does one do in heaven? Sit there throughout eternity and watch as their descendants go through life after life (after life)? Isn't eternity forever? Isn't forever a really really long time? What if one of their grandchildren, or one of their great-great-great-great-great grandchildren, falls through the ice and can't find the opening again and realizes with terror that Mommy and Daddy can't save them and finally gives up and breathes in water and dies in convulsive spasms of agony? Let's not even mention house fires and car accidents. That's another rant. These horrible deaths happen every day down here on Earth. Why does their god let that happen? Because he decided it was time for them to join him? Jeez, you'd think he'd treat an innocent child a bit nicer, like letting them die in their sleep maybe. No, there can't be a god. I have absolutely no interest, zero, in going to this so-called heaven. No thank you. When I die, I will be recycled by the earth and so will you. If it turns out there's a god I will do everything I can to slap his face. I'm laughing now about that thought.

Oh please, you religious types, don't give me that "god has a plan," "god has a reason" bullshit. You make me sick.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Tomorrow Is Today's Baby

Copyright 11 July 08. Don't mess with my wordbag. : )

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Marriage Is Stupid

Don't be fooled by love! Love is an illusion! It's all about making more humans. She has nice curves? He has a cute five o'clock shadow? Nope! It's all about making babies!

Go for it!

What Happened To Good Old Vermillion?

I moved to Vermillion, South Dakota, in late December of 1977. The university students were home for the holidays and the town seemed very small and slow paced. After Christmas all the students came back and the town became a busier place but still a small town. I left Vermillion in 1988 for fifteen years and returned in 2003. Vermillion had changed for the worse, all in the name of progress. Now the landfill competes with Spirit Mound to be the highest point on the northern horizon. Main Street and Cherry Street have become noon rush hour traffic jams. A Wal-Mart superstore has arrived and the city has honored it with its very own ridiculous traffic light and two strip malls. The once-quaint university is razing historic buildings, constructing new stupid looking mega-million dollar ones, and tearing out trees to build larger and larger parking lots. A large oil refining company is coming to a nearby town with the enthusiastic endorsement from those who will profit from it. Soon I will pack up my family and leave Verhundred forever. I am busy searching for another small college town that hasn’t caved to the pressure of progress and greed and pollution. Perhaps Missouri? Arkansas? Vermillion used to have a wonderful small town quality. Now it has become just another typical urban spawn. Vermillion, I henceforth will only call you Verhundred.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Cow Milk Is Creepy

Now that my family has been drinking strictly soymilk for four years it seems strange to me that I ever drank cow milk. We quit drinking cow milk years ago because of all the hormones and antibiotics and who knows what else is in there. My sons, 4 year old Sammy and 2 year old Pete, have never had a glass of cow milk.

Let's face it, cow milk is actually cow mother's milk. Cows normally eat grass, which is inedible to humans. Cow mother's milk is designed for cow babies, not human babies. The only mother's milk I want in my children is human mother's milk, preferably their actual mother's mother's milk.

How in the world did we start drinking animal mother's milk? Maybe some cave lady ran dry and noticed the domesticated wolf feeding her cubs in the corner of the cave and laid her infant down with the cubs. Who knows? It's creepy, mon!

Now it's a multi-trillion dollar operation. It does a body good? Hmm, when that much money is involved you can bet that the product ain't good for your baby.

I recently saw an Ovaltine commercial on that obnoxious moving picture box in the livingroom and those kids were yelling, "More Ovaltine, Mom!" and I got a craving for a big glass of ice cold milk with a tablespoon or four of Hershey's chocolate syrple (any Roger Miller fans out there?). That's when I realized how long it's been since I've actually tasted milk and now it's a blogpost.

It's just like all the other stuff that's force-fed to us. Somehow "they" came up with a forty hour workweek. What? Somehow "they" decided that we should all be driving cars and covering our planet with highways and parking lots. What? Forty thousand people die every year in America in car accidents and I'm upset about a mere three thousand dying every year in a useless war? Where's my perspective? And this computer in front of me makes me nervous. Listen to it humming and whirring. What kind of weird emissions am I breathing in? All this is future blog material. Stay tuned for more fun and games.

Last thing - soymilk ain't milk. It's a filtrate. It's like juice. Milk is a special word that should be used only for what a mother is amazingly capable of providing for her beautiful baby.