Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I believe that divorce is the second biggest tragedy in the world, second only to abortion.
The place where my ex-wife is moving our children is the most desolate looking place. I "drove" around it using Google street view. It is all sand. No trees except for those big, ugly palm trees. No toys in yards. I want to raise our children in a nice little college town with oak trees to build treehouses in, and neighborhoods full of children to make friends with. A town with all four seasons.
I believe that love is the most powerful force that exists and I intend to stay as close to my children as possible. I will be there forever for them. We will survive this tragedy and we will be stronger for it.
Thank you for your kind words and concern.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
I have state benefits here that will be hard to match anywhere else. I have a 200 thousand dollar life insurance policy, excellent health insurance for our family, and an excellent retirement plan. Our children are familiar with this town, the teachers, the doctors, the parks, etc. Why do we need to move? I encourage my wife to maintain a long-distance love affair and I don't mind helping to pay for their summer and xmas get-togethers. All I care about is being with my children. She doesn't seem to be concerned about taking our children from their familiar surroundings, teachers, doctors, and friends and move them into the unknown, far away from me, their father who loves them beyond words. I will follow them and I will stay in their lives. I'm their dad!
I love all three of our children intensely and it is very difficult adjusting to a visitation schedule. I am a hyper-vigilant father and I am proud of it. I used to check on our children at least twice a night to make sure their blankets were covering them and that they hadn't fallen out of bed, and to make sure they didn't have a fever. My wife sleeps straight through every night. This says a lot about my spouse's maternal instincts. She has left our children twice now since December 09, for ten days at a time, and flown to California over the Xmas holidays and spring break to be with her new lover. I couldn't do it. I would miss our children too much.
When they visit me I change their clothes so I have things that smell like them when they're not with me. I sleep with their clothes and when I wake up in the night I breathe in my children's scents. I do not know how I am bearing this loneliness.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
So what happens? Holy rollers spent hours googling my commenting name and actually found out who I was. Then they sent emails to my immediate supervisor AND the president of the university where I work. They attacked my family website and mailed death threats to me. Pathetic bullies. It just seems to me that their god wouldn't be proud of them for their actions.
So I had to shut down my website for awhile. I had to explain to my supervisor the whole story. Now it's all fixed up and I feel even stronger about posting my feelings. I changed my commenting name and made it impossible to trace back to me. It's completely anonymous.
Good grief. Bullies are pathetic.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
When someone dies, especially a child, I often hear religiots say things like, "she's in a better place now" or "god needed another angel." Those comments make me sick. How could a child be in a better place than her mother's arms? When god "needs" another angel, why doesn't he "take" them while they're sleeping, instead of drowning them, or letting them die in fires, etc.? Let's not even discuss sex crimes and murders. If there's a god, I hate him.
I do not believe in a god but even if I did I would never force religion upon my children. When they're older they can decide for themselves. I was raised a catholic (I refuse to capitalize it) and I remember being haunted as a small child by the man in agony nailed to that cross. Who would allow little children to gaze upon such a horrible sight? And then tell the child that the man died for ME! Crazy! Child abuse!
The older I get the more sad memories I gather. That's life. Many happy memories too, of course. If not for happiness life wouldn't be worth it and it wouldn't make sense to have children. I see now that eventually the sad will outweigh the happy and I'll be ready to step aside for the next generation. Hopefully I'll die in my sleep, although so many brave and innocent humans have died in such painful ways that I feel guilty for hoping for a painless exit. Perhaps, if I get the big C, I'll walk to the edge of the Grand Canyon and learn how to fly.
Yup, heaven looks pretty damned ridiculous.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
I used to think it was weird for parents to sleep with their children, especially older children. Now I have a totally reversed opinion. If my children sleep with me tonight and a fire breaks out, I know where they are. They're right within reach and I can scoop all three of them up and be outside in seconds. Ain't nothing wrong with sleeping with your kids! Some psychologists say the kids might have future issues? I doubt it. One thing's for sure - they'll be alive to deal with those issues.
Do you have children? Test your smoke alarm this instant!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Amazingly, CBS Morning News first reported about Beatlemania on the morning of the day Kennedy was shot. A month after the assasination the Beatles scored their first #1 hit, 'I Want To Hold Your Hand,' and I was one of 74 million people on February 9 who watched the Beatles perform live on The Ed Sullivan Show. Were you?
As I got older I looked forward to each of John Lennon's solo releases. When he was murdered a part of me was murdered. "They" say that the day Buddy Holly died was the day the music died, but I have listened carefully to all of Buddy Holly's songs and John Lennon blows Buddy Holly out of the water (whatever that means). I've always felt that December 8, 1980, was the day I lost my faith in humanity, the day the music truly died. However, after watching Obama's inauguration, I'm grokking that I may have lost my faith way back in 1963.
Congratulations, President "No Drama" Obama, for making it all the way to the White House. I'm not sure how I feel about you risking the lives of your family to get there (and stay there) but I am glad that America finally has a truly intelligent president, ala Lincoln. Perhaps sanity will return to America. Perhaps the wars will end. Perhaps America will truly become again the home of the brave.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
As I type these words I hear my darling ten month old daughter coughing in her crib. We just laid her down. This afternoon she developed a fever of 100, she's breathing fast, and she has a runny nose. Google says it's probably something called RSV. I don't care what it's called. All I know is that every two weeks (especially since our five year old started kindergarten) one or more of our children are sick, and often the adults are too. There seems to be a virus waiting around every corner. Life isn't that fun right now. We stay healthy for a week or two and then all of us are sick again.
What bothers me most of all is that I know that each of my children will die, probably of old age (knock on wood), but they will die. Alone. Without me there to hold them. This tears me apart. Last night I slept with my middle child, three year old Pete. As he slept I held him and I could feel his new heart beating strongly, and I circled my thumb and pointer finger around his tiny wrist, and I thought about how innocent he is and I cried to think that my son will eventually die.
Since they did not ask to be born (I did not ask to be born either) I say they should not have to follow society's rules and become "responsible" adults and "contribute" to society. Pah! I now devote the rest of my life to enabling them to never have to work a day in their lives. They did not ask for this misery. I must die before them but I intend to do everything I can to make sure they do not have to work unless they wish to. It is my lapse of foresight that brought them into this world of wars and murder (same thing), heartbreak and tragedy, pollution and greed (same thing). I read a quote somewhere that said life is tragedy with momentary bursts of joy. My children are my "bursts of joy."
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Abortion kills unborn babies. That's imaginary god's ace up the sleeve. No serial killer can compete with abortion statistics. God wins hands down! Yay god!
I have had two abortions. I regret both of them of course, but I have finally forgiven myself. If I hadn't talked two wonderful people into aborting there might be an extra 12 year old and an extra 28 year old on the planet. I can't think about that too much. I miss them terribly.
I love my living children. Two toddler boys and an infant daughter. I am a very lucky human. I teach them to be considerate and polite to their fellow humans, but only to a certain extent. When they eventually ask me about god (and Santa Claus and the tooth fairy) I will tell them the truth. I will say, "Some people believe in those things but Daddy doesn't." Am I going to hell? Well, if there is a hell I sure hope I'm going there! I certainly don't want to have anything to do with a god who permits the murdering of innocent unborn children, or the gassing of four million children who died in the Holocaust, and allows all the innocent babies to die of AIDS every day, and looks the other way while children are raped and murdered. A god who can create an infinite universe could definitely step in and stop a Nazi from tearing an infant from her mother's arms and throwing it into a raging fire, don't you think?
What does one do in heaven? Sit there throughout eternity and watch as their descendants go through life after life (after life)? Isn't eternity forever? Isn't forever a really really long time? What if one of their grandchildren, or one of their great-great-great-great-great grandchildren, falls through the ice and can't find the opening again and realizes with terror that Mommy and Daddy can't save them and finally gives up and breathes in water and dies in convulsive spasms of agony? Let's not even mention house fires and car accidents. That's another rant. These horrible deaths happen every day down here on Earth. Why does their god let that happen? Because he decided it was time for them to join him? Jeez, you'd think he'd treat an innocent child a bit nicer, like letting them die in their sleep maybe. No, there can't be a god. I have absolutely no interest, zero, in going to this so-called heaven. No thank you. When I die, I will be recycled by the earth and so will you. If it turns out there's a god I will do everything I can to slap his face. I'm laughing now about that thought.
Oh please, you religious types, don't give me that "god has a plan," "god has a reason" bullshit. You make me sick.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Monday, January 07, 2008
Let's face it, cow milk is actually cow mother's milk. Cows normally eat grass, which is inedible to humans. Cow mother's milk is designed for cow babies, not human babies. The only mother's milk I want in my children is human mother's milk, preferably their actual mother's mother's milk.
How in the world did we start drinking animal mother's milk? Maybe some cave lady ran dry and noticed the domesticated wolf feeding her cubs in the corner of the cave and laid her infant down with the cubs. Who knows? It's creepy, mon!
Now it's a multi-trillion dollar operation. It does a body good? Hmm, when that much money is involved you can bet that the product ain't good for your baby.
I recently saw an Ovaltine commercial on that obnoxious moving picture box in the livingroom and those kids were yelling, "More Ovaltine, Mom!" and I got a craving for a big glass of ice cold milk with a tablespoon or four of Hershey's chocolate syrple (any Roger Miller fans out there?). That's when I realized how long it's been since I've actually tasted milk and now it's a blogpost.
It's just like all the other stuff that's force-fed to us. Somehow "they" came up with a forty hour workweek. What? Somehow "they" decided that we should all be driving cars and covering our planet with highways and parking lots. What? Forty thousand people die every year in America in car accidents and I'm upset about a mere three thousand dying every year in a useless war? Where's my perspective? And this computer in front of me makes me nervous. Listen to it humming and whirring. What kind of weird emissions am I breathing in? All this is future blog material. Stay tuned for more fun and games.
Last thing - soymilk ain't milk. It's a filtrate. It's like juice. Milk is a special word that should be used only for what a mother is amazingly capable of providing for her beautiful baby.
Monday, September 24, 2007
The whole sex drive thing is a scam. We "feel" physically attracted to someone but really it's just the sex driver trying to make a new human.
Many men find large breasts attractive but is it actually because large breasts imply that they can hold more milk than smaller breasts and therefore be more capable of feeding an infant? Or is it because certain men want to be babied? According to zoologist Desmond Morris, author of 'The Naked Ape,' breasts are designed to look like derrieres, and a naked derriere is designed to encourage the sex driver. My sex driver would like to have a little chat with your sex driver.
Sex is weird and the older I get the more I see it for what it truly is - simply an overly hyped mechanism to make more humans.
(But don't get too attached to your babies - America's most prolific serial killer, President George Bush, is on a roll.)
Sunday, July 15, 2007
I hope to be living when the earth decides it has had enough of humans. That will certainly be exciting. Woo hoo!
Friday, July 13, 2007
Meanwhile, George Bush, America's most prolific serial killer, continues his bloody spree. Well, let's see if he can get my boys to enlist. Ain't a'gonna happen, Mr. President. I served proudly, my father served proudly, and I am proud of our troops, but I won't allow my sons to die meaningless deaths. Bring the troops home!
Friday, June 01, 2007
It's all about making babies. It's ONLY about making babies. It's all about continuing the human race. People just THINK it's fun. It really isn't. It's a mess. It's a mechanism that triggers endorphin release which tricks humans into thinking that it's fun. It's a scam! Why don't people realize this? Humans pretend and convince themselves that it's about making each other feel good. What a joke!
My sex driver loves to see hot. Do I want to touch it? Sure! Do I want to slip in? Of course! Will I make the move? Hell no! Not worth it! Not even the tiniest bit worth it. It's too much of an aggravation. Gotta think about tricking that ovulation machine. Gotta think about how to hide the wind-breakage. Gotta think about who gets up first to change that diaper.
Look at all the trouble people get into simply to have an orgasm. The sex driver gets its wires crossed and thinks that a 3 year old boy is an erotic object. Oops! Wait, did I say that the oopser was male? No-o-o! Did you assume "he" was? Heh heh HA HA (cough!) Wha-? Why don't those crossed wires trip a brain circuit breaker?
BTW, I will personally do all I can to send that oopser to jail for life.
Speaking of crossed wires, a man craves a man? A woman craves a woman? That's freakin' funny! It's just crossed wires. It's just screwing up lives.
Supposedly sex is about "making" love. Expressing love. That's a joke. What exactly about stimulating genitals means a person loves another person? "Ooh, ooh, I think I love that person. I can't wait to stimulate that person's genitals and have that person stimulate mine to orgasm!" That's bullshit. That's the sex driver driving drunk. Don't believe it? Try having your gay sex without alcohol for a week or so.
Love is deep friendship. Love is looking out for a particular person's well-being. Love is wanting that particular person to feel good. Love is stimulating that person's genitals until that person has an orgasm. Wait a minute, where am I going with this? This was supposed to be a rant about DNA manipulating the human race into thinking that sex was actually just for fun.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Sammy singing his own song: http://youtube.com/watch?v=iFQ5HSxxFUA
Petey determined to learn words: http://youtube.com/watch?v=yH82MoBsMhQ
I am also very proud of Sean Penn: http://youtube.com/watch?v=f6_lx5ejhWY&mode=related&search=
I am ashamed of George Bush. Our military has become a police force for the rich. We are using our brave and honorable military troops to steal oil.
My sons may become soldiers, as I was, as their grandfathers were, but they will not fight for corporate interests. I will ensure that, even if it means leaving the USA.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
I'm a primitive brained creature with an occasionally stubborn sex driver. She says we can have at it if it will appease my sex driver but lately my sex driver's been distracted by the possibility of contracting std's. She is, after all, screwing idiots who also screw college idiots.
What would you do? Don't say divorce. Divorce means limited time with my little girls. One weekend a month, two weeks during the summer, and occasional holidays equals limited father figure exposure.
Life is good. Really good. Set the alarm for 5 AM. 1 oz vodka, 6 oz tomato juice, 1 tbsp pickle juice, a sprinkle of celery salt, a John Gorka album on the stereo. Blog till 7 AM. The kids wake up at 8. By then I'm sober and appeased and ready to make pancakes for the family. Life is good.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
I am completely against any killing of human beings.
I am against capital punishment. We have killed innocents.
I am against abortion. Life begins at conception. Abortion is murder. I have had two abortions. I intensely regret both, and I also forgive myself and their mothers.
I do not believe there is a god. I don't care what you believe.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Perhaps society wants its children to think that farm animals are cute and cuddly and can sing and dance because society wants to conceal the grim reality of death on the farm. Most farm animals are raised to be slaughtered in high-speed killing factories which contaminate the meat with e. coli. Maybe they should have tours for kindergardeners at those slaughterhouses. I'm not a vegan but I haven't eaten beef in years.
And teaching children to believe in Santa sure is a convenient way for religious people to convince them that there is also a god. Get them while they're young, very young, and impressionable.
I'm not trying to take away the joys of childhood. Pretending is fun. I wonder how much is really lost of a child's trust in his parents when he realizes that he's been lied to all those years, and how much active life-learning time has been lost spent believing that Santa exists?
Friday, July 07, 2006
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Iraq didn't have anything to do with 9/11. Why is Osama still free? What's really going on? I shouldn't have to think these thoughts.
I have a two year old toddler and a six week old infant. I served in the military. The military is there to protect our country, not chase oil. I cannot lose my children for oil. Go Cindy!