Eternity is an unpleasant concept to me. How could I be happy in heaven knowing that freak accidents and horrible murders are happening on Earth? Does god make me blind to events on Earth? Well, who does he think he is? I want to know about my loved ones! Good times or bad, I want to be there for them. What happens in heaven? Are my memories erased? No thanks.
When someone dies, especially a child, I often hear religiots say things like, "she's in a better place now" or "god needed another angel." Those comments make me sick. How could a child be in a better place than her mother's arms? When god "needs" another angel, why doesn't he "take" them while they're sleeping, instead of drowning them, or letting them die in fires, etc.? Let's not even discuss sex crimes and murders. If there's a god, I hate him.
I do not believe in a god but even if I did I would never force religion upon my children. When they're older they can decide for themselves. I was raised a catholic (I refuse to capitalize it) and I remember being haunted as a small child by the man in agony nailed to that cross. Who would allow little children to gaze upon such a horrible sight? And then tell the child that the man died for ME! Crazy! Child abuse!
The older I get the more sad memories I gather. That's life. Many happy memories too, of course. If not for happiness life wouldn't be worth it and it wouldn't make sense to have children. I see now that eventually the sad will outweigh the happy and I'll be ready to step aside for the next generation. Hopefully I'll die in my sleep, although so many brave and innocent humans have died in such painful ways that I feel guilty for hoping for a painless exit. Perhaps, if I get the big C, I'll walk to the edge of the Grand Canyon and learn how to fly.
Yup, heaven looks pretty damned ridiculous.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
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